Midlife Crisis

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

It’s Wednesday 20th January 2021.

Let’s talk about ‘Midlife Crisis’ today.

Our life, from start till finish, is a very fascinating and adventurous journey. Once our education days are over, it’s time to look for a life partner. Once we are married, our life takes a very exciting turn. Until now you were single, and had only yourself to look after and worry about. However, now there’s two of you. The feeling is incredible.

Although the responsibilities and duties have increased, we are very happy. Life moves on. Children make the life of the married couple even more exciting. The same 2 youngsters, husband and wife, now start to see their lovely little ones go through the same phases of life that they went through.

As life moves on, we all go through a phase when life is not as enjoyable as it used to be before. The same couple who were in love with each other so much, who would never have thought of not having each other’s company, who laughed together and enjoyed so many outings and holidays abroad, now find that sitting in the same room making small conversation becomes almost impossible.

When friends have mentioned such moments to me, I ask them ‘what’s happened?’ The simple answer is, ‘Midlife Crisis’. I’m not really sure what this phrase means. A crisis has occurred during the middle phase of our lives?

So how do we manage this phase? It’s a time to sit back and reflect upon your married life thus far and try and work out what has caused this rift. Both husband and wife need to do this. Once you have identified and pinpointed the issues, start working towards rectifying each point.

Honestly speaking, it’s not very difficult at all. One of the biggest stumbling blocks is who makes the first move? My sincere advice to all husbands is not to waste time and energy expecting your wife to take the first step; it will not happen. As the man of the house, kill your ego, go and buy a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers (nice expensive ones please), admit to your mistakes and faults, and move on. It really is as simple as that.

Your wife is your life partner at the end of the day, and you are her protector. Overlook and forgive her mistakes. Think about your children and move on in life. Ask for help and guidance and support from Almighty Allāh and your midlife crisis will be over in a flash, اِنْ شَاءَ الَّلهُ.

Remember, life is too short to have arguments and fallouts. On the day the husband leaves this temporary world, the wife will be in tears. Similarly, the day the wife departs, the husband’s world will be shattered. So come on brothers and sisters, let’s make the most of our married life.

Almighty Allāh bestow happiness and joy amongst all married couples and ease the circumstances for those going through the so called ‘midlife crisis’, Āmeen.

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جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
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وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala