Daughters and Daughters-in-Law

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

It’s Wednesday 10th February 2021.

Today I have decided to talk about ‘Daughters and Daughters-in-Law’.

When I wrote my message about ‘Sons and Sons-in-Law‘, little did I know that I would get a request from a sister to write about the ‘Daughters and Daughters-in-Law‘.

Having been involved in the field of social and domestic issues for 30 years now, although I have come across such instances, it is very rare that any mother would treat her daughter-in-law better than her own daughter.

So, where do I start? First things first. Congratulations and well done to the mother-in-law who has treated her daughter-in-law so nicely and won her heart. Yours is a remarkable achievement. Please try and maintain this relationship till your last breath.

However, if you have started to give preference to your daughter-in-law above your daughter, then why? Most probably your daughter will have upset you by doing something wrong. I can understand your feelings and it really is a bitter pill to swallow.

Your same little darling daughter, who you looked after and brought up so well, one day suddenly brings your world crashing down, by telling you that she wants to get married to someone whom you do not approve of at all. The pain is even more acute if you have the one and only daughter.

Does this now mean that it’s all over? End of relationship or very minimum contact from now on? No, not at all. This is the test of your motherhood. If after trying each and every method of convincing your daughter not to go against your (and your husband’s) wishes, your daughter still insists on going ahead with her plans, then wish her well and support her all the way from start till finish.

Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right. Forgive your little daughter and in time you will forget as well. She is naive and will mature as she goes through life. Please do not disown her or take revenge. The most important duty of parents towards children is to ensure they teach them and help them to protect their Īmān. That is the number one priority for all Muslims.

If you sever ties with your daughter, you will not just lose a daughter but, mark my words, you will lose a generation. I have come across so many couples, who told their daughter that they did not want to see her face again, simply because she got married against their wishes. It was the same daughter and son-in-law who came to help the parents out in their time of need.

Daughters are wonderful blessings. They bring so much joy, happiness, blessings and favours which are unimaginable. The parents’ hearts are shattered the day she leaves the family home for her husband’s house. Value your daughter and give her the same love and affection as your daughter-in-law.

Almighty Allāh maintain the love and harmony between all parents and their children at all times, Āmeen.

جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala