السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
It’s Wednesday 24th February 2021.
Today I would like to talk about ‘An Amicable and Peaceful Divorce Settlement’.
In my message last week, I touched upon the very sensitive subject of Divorce. If unfortunately, due to the circumstances, Divorce is the only option left, then please make it as amicable and peaceful as possible.
Not really sure why, but for some reason or other, we Muslims have stooped so low when it comes to such issues that the same two people and same two families become public enemy no. 1 for each other. Why? How come such enmity and hatred within such a short space of time? What happened to our beautiful Islamic teachings?
Yes, of course, both families are hurt, both feel unfairly treated by each other, and both are full of anger and resentment. However, what will that achieve? This is the time to show your real character and personality. Handle the matter in the best possible manner under the circumstances, especially while sorting out property ownership issues, savings, (if there are children) maintenance and contact, etc.
Remember, if there are children involved, then make them the priority. Try and understand their feelings and emotions. What a traumatic experience for the innocent little ones or even the grown-ups! Have some sympathy for them. They love mum and dad to bits. They cannot stand the sight of them both bickering and fighting over trivial issues. They are heartbroken and completely wrecked emotionally. Spare a thought for them.
‘Your dad did this and he is like this‘. ‘Your mum is the worst person in the world‘. What will such nonsense achieve? If you can both sort it amicably amongst yourselves, without any external involvement, then that is the number one priority.
If not, then involve close family members. They should act like respectable adults and resolve matters amicably. If that doesn’t work, involve an experienced ‘Ālim or ‘Ālimāt, make them the mediators and let them have the final say.
This is the time to ‘Give & Take’. I know it is very easily said than done, but both of you try to give more and take less. If one of you has been blessed with wealth, then let the other half have a bigger and better share in the finances. Your rewards will be with The Almighty.
When it comes to contact arrangements, please do not put your child through hell. Remember, the father and mother both have rights. Make sure you are always fair and just in all your dealings.
Finally, all your decisions should be based on the beautiful teachings of our religion. Not the British Law or the Child Support Agency, Social Services, or Children’s Services Department. Let common sense prevail at all times.
Almighty Allāh give all of us the correct understanding of all issues at all times, Āmeen.
جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala