السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
It’s Thursday 2nd December 2021 / 28 Rabī’ ul-Thānī 1443H.
Let’s talk about Engagement, Nikāh and Rukhsati today.
Finally, one of the happiest days of your life has arrived. You have found a suitable partner for your son or daughter and you start the preparations for their marriage. Once the couple and both families are happy, a simple Dā’wat from either side to close family members and friends will suffice as an engagement.
This is so that both sides of the family can get to meet each other, and the relationship between both families can begin. This Dā’wat should take place without any delay and both homes are suitable venues. There is no need for any extravagance whatsoever.
Immediately after this, the dates for the Nikāh and Walīmah should be set. Without a shadow of doubt, both should be done together, unless there is a very good Shar’ī reason for having a gap in between.
There is no need at all to have Nikāh first, and then after maybe a few months, a year, or even longer, carry out the Rukhsati and Walīmah. Not really sure where this trend or custom originated.
Once Nikāh is performed, the couple are husband and wife. They are not strangers to each other anymore. They can start living together immediately. I fail to understand why many families are having massive time gaps between the two? What is the logic? I was told this is ‘Ḥalāl Dating’, أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللّٰهَ.
The whole purpose of Nikāh is for the couple to start sharing their lives with each other. It is definitely not a license to get to know and experience each other first, and then start living together. We Muslims have stooped so low today.
After Nikāh, before Rukhsati, the couple will go out together, meet very regularly, shop together for their Rukhsati, etc. This is not the correct procedure and should be avoided as much as possible.
Have 2 simple Dā’wats as an engagement, Nikāh soon after, Rukhsati on the same day and the Sunnah Walīmah the day after. Start your life following the Sunnah and, اِنْ شَاءَ الَّلهُ, you will have a very enjoyable happy married life. The more our Imāms and Scholars advise us to make our weddings nice and simple, the more extravagant we are becoming.
May The Almighty guide us all to the correct understanding of His Beautiful Dīn, Āmeen.
All my messages are available to read on my website. Also, everyone has my permission to share all my messages far and wide, اِنْ شَاءَ الَّلهُ.
جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala
Islamic Wedding – Shaykh Muḥammad Saleem Dhorāt, حفظہ اللہ