Comfort for the Bereaved Parents

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

It’s Thursday 4th March 2021.

My chosen topic today is ‘Comfort for the Bereaved Parents’.

One of the saddest days in the life of a husband or wife, is when the other half departs from this world. The same husband and wife, who will have spent so many years together, suddenly find themselves alone and lonely. It doesn’t matter how many children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, or extended family members they may have around them to comfort them, life is not going to be the same again.

Days, weeks, and months after the bereavement, everyone is back to their busy lives. So what is the solution? What can we, as children and extended family members, do to comfort our bereaved mother or father? Is there a solution? Our beautiful Sharī’ah has provided an answer to each and every problem of life.

The issue is, our customs and traditions override our religion. Although a very sensitive subject, what is stopping us assisting our bereaved mother and father in getting married again? Moreso, if their bereavement has come at an age where they are perfectly capable of remarrying.

Over the years, I have come across a few cases, where grown up children (married adults) encouraged dad to get married again and have looked after the stepmother very similar to their own deceased mother. سُبْحَانَ الله. What wonderful children!

On the other hand, I have also seen grown up children (married adults) fall out with dad the day he remarried. أَسْتَغْفِرُ ٱللَّٰهَ Why? What has your father done wrong? Are you just after his inheritance? Do you not care one little bit about his future health and wellbeing? Is this why he brought you up?

My tone may seem harsh, but I just can’t get my head round this attitude and behaviour of some children. Who gets all the stick? The innocent stepmother. What has she done wrong to you? Your father decided to marry her. She agreed. And now she becomes a victim of your abuse.

No, brothers and sisters! Do not overstep your mark. I agree that it is much more difficult for mothers to remarry and, due to their nature and multitasking skills, etc., they usually move on in life as widows and get by, although, not easily. However, the father is going to struggle big time, especially if the bereavement came up suddenly and at a young age.

Therefore, my very humble message today, if you find yourself in a position where mum or dad have departed from this world, then put our traditions and customs to one side and give preference and priority to our Sharī’ah. Let the world think what they want. It’s a case of ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’.

Support your bereaved mother or father fully. If it is difficult to find a suitable partner here in the UK, there is always the ‘back home’ strategy. Just for the sake of inheritance shares, do not deprive your mother or father of a comfortable life at the time they need it the most.

May Almighty Allāh give us all the courage and strength to overcome traditions and customs with the correct Islamic teachings, Āmeen.

جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala