Parent and Children Relationships

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

It’s Saturday 25th September/18th Safar 1443 H.

Let’s speak about Parent and Children Relationships today.

Back in the early 1970s, I attended Daisyfield Primary School here in Blackburn, and then went on to Pleckgate High School in 1978. Those who are my age will remember that life was very different then. As our parents had come from the subcontinent at that time, they hardly knew any English, and were not familiar at all with the UK education system, etc.

So parents evenings at the schools came and went, and there was hardly any interest taken by parents. I also recall that there was a lot of respect for parents in those days. Children would be able to communicate with mum and get away with a lot of things. However, it wasn’t as easy to communicate with dad.

Respect is, of course, necessary at all times, but lack of communication may have been a custom or tradition imported from back home. Fast track to 2021. It is an absolute must that there is a very positive relationship between the children and their parents. This also includes regular communication.

Both parents, let me emphasise again, BOTH parents, must take full interest in all of their children’s activities. It is not just the duty of the mother. Whether it is secular education, religious education, or extra curricular activities, etc., make a habit of regularly openly discussing matters with your children.

If you do not understand anything, take advice from family members or friends who have gone through such phases in life. Your local Imāms, ‘Ulamā and ‘Ālimāts are at hand and will advise you and guide you correctly.

It is nice to see our children getting involved in extracurricular activities and keeping themselves busy in useful pursuits to learn extra skills in life. However, when speaking with families regarding their childrens’ future ambitions, etc, it has become apparent that, maybe in the majority of households, there is a lack of communication and understanding between parents and children. This must not be the case.

Finally, If you have a disagreement amongst yourselves regarding any issue at all, let’s not have any kind of dictatorship please. All family members sit down and, with love and affection, amicably sort out the issue. It is necessary to take your children’s views as well and maybe, some external advice.

Not all of us know everything and if we are not careful, a decision we make today about our child without any knowledge of the issue, could lead to disaster in the future.

Almighty Allāh give all our families the best understanding of all issues, Āmeen.

My website has a number of articles related to the family, and its responsibilities.
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جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
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وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala