Mind Your Language

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
It’s Saturday 18th September 2021/11th Safar 1443 Hijri.

My chosen topic today is Mind Your Language.

I have been dealing with domestic issues for a number of years now. It really does break my heart when wives mention the sort of language their husbands use when they are angry, or when things are not going their way. Some of the words quoted to me by some wives are shocking to say the least.

What makes the matter even worse is that there is no regard at all when children are around. In my message today, I want to address this issue. Now, just before the husbands start picking up their phones to message me about their wives’ language as well, let me make it absolutely clear that I am not taking sides at all.

Yes of course your wife is no angel and yes of course her tongue also will be causing you offence. However, it is, first and foremost, the responsibility of the husband to ensure that he keeps full control of his tongue. Unfortunately today, swearing and using vulgar language has become very common.

The husband feels he has a divine right to say what he wants, how he wants, whenever he wants. Just because the wife is soft hearted and physically weak, the husband has no right to behave in such a manner. Many wives have mentioned that swearing in Gujarātī, Urdu and Punjābi has also become very common. This must stop.

Remember, your wife is someone else’s daughter. She has made a lot of sacrifice, and is now spending her life with you. She is very fragile. Even the simplest of bad words can break her heart. She might not be strong enough to retaliate. Learn to control your tongues and do not use any bad language at all. Work on anger management and language control.

Finally, a word to the wives. Please do not provoke your husbands pushing them to the limits because of which they lose control of their tongues. Also, two wrongs do not make a right so please do not stoop so low to use bad language and swear back to your husband. Learn to sit down and talk in a nice calm manner, let bygones be by bygones, and move forward.

Remember, one day your husband’s coffin will be leaving your house. Crying and weeping on that day will be of no use. The same applies to the husband as well.

Almighty Allāh instill love and affection in all couples in their married lives and save everyone from using bad and vulgar language, Āmeen.

My website has a number of messages relating to husband and wife relationships as well as daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationships.


Feel free to share.with all your contacts.

جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala