Parents & Stepparents

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

It’s Wednesday 7th June 2023b/ 18 Ẓūl Qā’dah 1444H

Parents & Stepparents

In the inevitable circumstance when a couple go through a divorce, the ones who suffer the most are the children. The best home for children is obviously with parents. When, due to unfortunate circumstances, the day when both decide to go their own ways arrives, what happens to the children?

In a number of cases, once the dust settles, both parents get married again and move on in life. Our beautiful religion teaches all stepparents to look after their stepchildren, in the same way they would look after their own children.

In fact, a stepparent should go one step ahead and look after their stepchild better than their own child. Does this happen in our community? Can each stepparent ask their heart if they have treated their stepchild as their own child or even better than their own child?

I was invited to a Walimah dā’wat last weekend and what I saw and heard was amazing beyond belief. The groom’s parents had separated a long time ago and both had remarried. One couple lives here in the North and the other couple in the Midlands. On this happiest of days, both sets of parents came together to celebrate the wedding and bless their son/stepson with their Du’ās.

What a remarkable scene, ‏مَا شَآءَ الله. The groom’s mother and stepmother were dressed identically, like two sisters, and the groom’s father and stepfather were dressed the same, as if they were brothers. Each and every guest present was touched and moved. It was so emotional.

Just try to imagine the happiness felt by the groom. In his young age, completely innocent, he experienced his mother and father split up. His father looked after him, remarried, was brought up by a stepmum and today he has both parents around him.

The purpose of my message is that if you fall out as husband and wife and decide to go through a divorce, you don’t have to become public enemy no.1 with each other, especially when it comes to the looking after and nurturing of your children. Yes, after your divorce, try and remarry again.

However, remember, children are children. They are innocent, sinless. Please don’t make them suffer. It’s a very sorry state of affairs to see that many stepmothers have stepped well over the mark. Also, many stepfathers as well.

What if your own children went through such trauma? How would you feel if they were mistreated by stepparents? Treat them with love, affection and care. On their happy days, make sure they have the company of both their parents.

May Almighty Allāh grant us all the correct understanding of His Pure faith, Āmeen.

Please share widely.

جَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا
Request for Du’ās
وَالسَّلَامُ Hanif Dudhwala